LA FAMILIA NO SE ELIGE

Familias tóxicas

Es posible que seas la persona más afortunada del mundo y tengas una familia maravillosa. Sin embargo, por cada familia feliz hay cientos que son infelices.

Muchas veces, hay familias maravillosas porque tienen que ser maravillosas sí o sí. El deseo de que así sea, es más un deseo que una realidad. Hay mucho auto engaño.

Nacemos donde nacemos. No elegimos a nuestros padres ni nuestro contexto familiar. Nuestros padres y hermanos pueden ser encantadores o ser asesinos en serie. No depende de nosotros lo más mínimo.

Lo ideal, sin ningún tipo de dudas, es que te lleves bien con tu familia, pero a menudo no solo no es posible, sino que el precio que tienes que pagar por conseguirlo es demasiado elevado.

Las relaciones familiares provocan mucho sufrimiento, así como nefastas consecuencias negativas que perduran años y años. No se puede tolerar cualquier cosa por el mero hecho de que quien lo haga sea tu padre, tu madre o tu hermano. No se puede tolerar todo. No se puede tolerar el maltrato físico o psicológico, ni el sufrimiento gratuito.

Yo estoy a favor de la vida familiar, pero solo si es buena para todos los integrantes. Tener un lazo de sangre no implica que haya que sentir un lazo afectivo.

Si no encajas en la familia que tienes, no te sientas mal por ello. Quizás tenéis prioridades, valores o puntos de vista diferentes. Si no puedes convivir con alguien que maltrata a otras personas, que roba, que es machista, homófobo, mentiroso o manipulador, no tienes nada de qué avergonzarte. No te sientas culpable. Ten cuidado con la culpabilidad originada por la propia familia o sus emisarios.

Es posible que no quieras a tu familia. No pasa nada, no se puede querer a quien te hace daño continuamente. No eres un bicho raro. La mayoría de las personas sufren directa o indirectamente por culpa de sus familias. El origen de muchos problemas de salud mental está en la familia.

Posiblemente no te entiendan. No tienes nada que justificar. No tienes por qué dar explicaciones.

Suelta lastre, deja de cargar con lo que te limita. Tu familia no tiene por qué atraparte ni condicionarte. Empieza a escribir tu propio destino.

Esto no significa que haya que renunciar a formar tu propia familia. Precisamente has tenido una gran lección de vida y tú puedes ser el origen de una familia donde reine el respeto y el amor.

 

 “La rana que no sabía que estaba hervida”

Imaginad una cazuela llena de agua, en cuyo interior nada tranquilamente una rana. La cazuela se está calentando a fuego lento. Al cabo de un rato el agua está tibia. A la rana, esto le parece agradable, y sigue nadando.

La temperatura empieza a subir. Ahora el agua está caliente. Un poco más de lo que suele gustarle a la rana. Pero ella no se inquieta y además el calor siempre le produce algo de fatiga y somnolencia.

Ahora el agua está caliente de verdad. A la rana empieza a parecerle desagradable. Lo malo es que se encuentra sin fuerzas, así que se limita a aguantar y no hace nada más.

Así, la temperatura del agua sigue subiendo poco a poco, nunca de una manera acelerada, hasta el momento en que la rana acaba hervida y muere sin haber realizado el menor esfuerzo por salir de la cazuela.

Si la hubiéramos sumergido de golpe en la cazuela con el agua a cincuenta grados, de una sola zancada ella se habría puesto a salvo, saltando fuera del recipiente.

Como la rana que se va durmiendo en el agua caliente hasta quedar escaldada, cuando nos demos cuenta, puede ser demasiado tarde, o el tren que queríamos tomar ya habrá pasado de largo.

( Los textos son de autor desconocido, fueron copiados y recontados por Adonis)

 

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