Que duro ser padre
El padre entro a la habitación de su hija y encontró una carta sobre la cama. Con la peor de las premoniciones la leyó mientras temblaban las manos:
“Queridos papa y mama, con gran pena y dolor os digo que me he escapado con mi nuevo novio. He encontrado el amor verdadero y es fantástico.
Me encantan sus piercings, cicatrices, tatuajes y su gran moto. Pero no es solo eso: estoy embarazada y Jonatan dijo que seremos muy felices en su poblado. Quiere tener muchos mas niños conmigo y ese es uno de mis sueños.
He aprendido que la marihuana no daña a nadie y la vamos a cultivar para nosotros y nuestros amigos. Ellos nos proporcionan toda la cocaína y pasta base que queremos.
Entretanto rezaremos para que la ciencia encuentre una cura para el SIDA, para que Jonatan se mejore. Se lo merece.
No te preocupes por el dinero: el Yony lo ha arreglado para que participe en las películas que sus amigos Rayan y Miquel ruedan en su sótano.
Por lo visto puedo ganar 50 dólares por escena, 50 mas si hay mas de tres hombres en la escena y 50 mas si participa un caballo.
No te preocupes mama. Ya tengo 15 años y se como cuidar de mi misma…
Algún día os visitare para que podáis conocer a vuestros nietos.
Con cariño, vuestra querida hija.
P.D.:
Papi, es una broma. Estoy viendo la tele en la casa de la vecina.
Solo quería mostrarte que hay cosas peores en la vida que mis notas, que te adjunto a la presente.
Respuesta del padre a su hija.
“Le he dado a leer la nota a tu madre. Le ha dado un infarto del susto y hemos tenido que ingresarla en el hospital. Los médicos temen por su vida.
Al decirle a los abogados lo que ha pasado me han recomendado que haga uso de la figura del repudio, por lo que ya no eres nuestra hija, así que te hemos quitado del testamento.
Hemos tirado a la basura todas tus cosas y hemos habilitado tu habitación como despacho.
También hemos cambiado la cerradura de casa por lo que tendrás que buscarte un alojamiento, pero no intentes pagar con tarjeta, porque la hemos anulado, y hemos cancelado tu cuenta en el banco (el dinero que había allí, lo vamos a utilizar para el tratamiento de tu madre).
Por cierto, no intentes llamarnos para pedirnos dinero, porque hemos anulado el contrato de tu teléfono móvil y hemos dado de baja tu número.
Las joyas que tenias guardadas, tu equipo de música, y la colección de CDS y películas, las hemos vendido al vecino del quinto (ese que te cae tan mal y que dices que te vigila por la ventana cuando te cambias de ropa…)
¡Ah!! Por cierto, tendrás que buscar también un trabajo, porque ya no te vamos a pagar los estudios ni las clases de música.
Para el caso de que no puedas conseguir ni trabajo ni alojamiento, te recomiendo al “Perico”. Es un tío que conocí en la mili, y no se muy bien a que se dedica, pero le he mandado una foto tuya y me ha dicho que una chica como tu no tendría problemas para vivir en ciertos países del Mundo que el conoce.
En fin espero que en tu nueva vida todo te vaya bonito y que seas muy feliz.
P.D.:
Hija, es una broma. Estoy viendo la tele en casa con tu madre, que esta perfectamente y riéndose a carcajadas.
Solo quería mostrarte que hay cosas peores en la vida que pasarte las próximas tres semanas castigada sin salir de casa, por las notas, y sin ver la tele, por la bromita.
( Los textos son de autor desconocido, fueron copiados y recontados por Adonis)
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