”Alguien mas”
Se puede definir “ser infiel” a aquel comportamiento en el que nos se respetan de manera consciente los valores, normas y compromisos que la pareja ha decidido otorgarse, ya sea de un modo explícito o implícito, y que conllevan respecto y lealtad hacia tu compañero o compañera
A veces se acaban “las mariposas en el estómago”, el vivir en un sueño. Algunas personas tienden a buscar a un tercero con quien sentir todo esto, pero ¿eso es amor? ¿O simplemente son nuestras hormonas que nos están jugando una mala pasada? Pues siento deciros que es lo segundo. Veo muchas parejas que después de uno o dos años de relación deciden poner punto y final porque se apagó la llama, o buscar esas “emociones fuertes” en la infidelidad. Lo que no parecen saber es que eso es lo que tiene que pasar, la inevitable bajada de hormonas del enamoramiento que deja paso a la siguiente fase, el amor de verdad.
En este nuevo período ya no idealizamos a la pareja, sino que la vemos como realmente es. Ahora no depende nuestra vida del otro, sino que podemos crecer como personas a través de nuestra relación pero también a través de otros círculos externos. Y es que cuando acaba el enamoramiento se acaban las mariposas pero empieza lo bueno.
Antes de ser infiel, piensa que estas cambiando tardes y noches enteras por, como mucho, dos horas.
Que estas eligiendo los besos de alguien que te tiene ganas en vez de los de una persona que te ama.
A que estas prefiriendo a una persona para la cual eres ”alguien mas” en vez de la persona que quizás sea la única a la que de verdad le importes.
Que estas prefiriendo a alguien que pensó que estabas ”buena” en vez de alguien que cree que eres la persona mas hermosa del mundo.
Estas optando por alguien que te alimenta el ego en vez de optar por alguien que te llena el corazón .
Que estas apartando de tu lado a una persona que daría la vida por ti por alguien a quien apenas le interesas
Que estas traicionando la confianza de alguien que piensa y se preocupa por ti las 24 horas a cambio de alguien que probablemente te olvide mañana.
Hay que tener presente que la vida en pareja no está hecha para todo el mundo. Cada persona tiene que elegir su camino. Tener una relación supone establecer un compromiso pactado con otra persona, y eso, como otros muchos compromisos en la vida, implica disfrutar de una serie de cosas pero también renunciar a otras. La base es el respeto hacia tu compañero o compañera, la firmeza en los sentimientos y la lealtad.
Da pena arriesgar años de recuerdos y momentos maravillosos, de las luchas que afrontas junto a esa persona, los esfuerzos por salir adelante juntos y sin duda el amor que nunca nadie te entregará tan pleno.
Superar la infidelidad
Para la superación de una infidelidad existen dos objetivos primordiales: La aceptación de lo sucedido, que no el olvido, y la recuperación de la confianza. Deberán darse conjuntamente pues si no, será realmente complicado alcanzar la normalidad en la relación. Aceptar lo sucedido, ser capaz de tolerar la incertidumbre de que pudiera volver a ocurrir, así como manejar los pensamientos negativos que le invaden, será solo el inicio de la reconstrucción de sí mismo/a. A su vez, el infiel deberá ser capaz de pedir perdón y modificar conductas que demuestren poco a poco a su pareja el nuevo camino en el que se encuentran.
(Los textos son de autor desconocido, fueron copiados y recontados por Adonis)
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